A Friend Indeed

About a month back I was at home for a week of holidays that I had between finishing my first year of MBA in Pune and joining for my internship in Delhi.

One evening I was out shopping with my folks and I ran into an old school friend of mine, Arun (Name changed or even if I haven’t I have like 50 friends named Arun, so you can go figure out which one it is). I had not met him for a long time and we started chatting. Our parents were in touch as my parents used to consult Arun’s dad who is a doctor. We chatted and caught up for some time and when it was time for us to leave he asked if I could do him a favor. I said sure and he told me that his parents want him to get married and they were going to a prospective bride’s home to see her next day. He was feeling really nervous and wanted me to accompany him.

I was surprised and a little taken aback actually. Sure, the guy was a close friend when we were in school 8 years back, but since then we had drifted apart. We had kept in touch with the occasional message, chat and call but it is not like we were close friends anymore. This was actually the first time I was meeting him after school. After school we both went to different cities to do our engineering and for the first one year or so we made plans to meet each other when we were back in our home town but it never materialized and eventually we stopped trying. I wanted to ask him if he hadn't made any close friends during those eight years. Also to be honest I was at home for only 7 days and I was so busy running around that the next day was the only time I was getting to stay at home fully, do nothing and relax. But out of courtesy, the fact that our parents were close and that my parents would never forgive me if I didn't go I agreed.

One of the other reasons I didn't want to go is because I am never good at these traditional family kind of situations, I am clueless of what to do and also I had no idea what advice to give my friend if he asked for it the next day. But now that I decided to do it, I wanted to do it right. So I called up a couple of my friends who had recently got married and asked them how the exercise went. They gave me some general idea and said that it is not a big deal as everyone makes it out to be and that the movies and all exaggerate it too much so that we have a huge misconception about it. I was relieved and confident from the knowledge I acquired was all set to handle the next day.

So the next day, Arun with his parents came to pick me up in the morning. During the 45 minutes car ride to the girl's place I understood why my friend had asked me to come along with him. His parents apparently thought very highly of me because I had got into high ranking engineering and MBA colleges which their son had tried to get into unsuccessfully. So I guess if something went wrong during the process like if he didn't like the girl and his parents did he was expecting me to take his side and convince the parents otherwise.

During the car ride he showed me a photo of the girl and asked my opinion about her. Now this is a question that always puts me in a very awkward position, whenever someone shows me the picture of their prospective bride or fiancée and asks me what I feel. I am always lost trying to find that answer which says that their choice is good enough without sounding offensive or inappropriate by saying something like oh yeah, she is a hottie. I played it safe and said she looks nice and she did too, she was good looking. But honestly she was all dressed up in a sari and going to some function in the photo and everyone looks good when you are like that. She also looked vaguely familiar but I couldn't place from where.

Finally we reached the girl’s place and were invited inside by her entire family. Apart from the girl’s parents and their younger son who studied in some engineering college the girl’s dad’s brother and his family consisting of his wife and a daughter were also present. After a round of mutual introductions the girl was called to the hall. Her name was Lakshmi( I called the guy Arun, what did you expect me to call the girl?) and she was an engineer from a decent private college in Kerala and has been working for an IT company in Kochi for two years. I also realized where I knew her from. The photo didn't make me remember her but when I saw her in person I remembered who she was. She used to be the girlfriend of one of my friend’s in college. There used to be a photo of him and her together in his room. I remember this because when they broke up we went through the ritual of drinking a lot to drown the pain, calling her a lot of profanity and eventually burning the photo. I really didn't know the reason why they broke up also, I was just part of the ritual for a friend. I didn't know if I should tell this to Arun because I didn't know the reason why they broke up, it could have been a genuine reason and to be honest my college friend was kind of a douchebag and also I didn't know how Arun felt about marrying a girl who had a relationship in the past. I didn't want to ruin what could be a perfectly good marriage because of this.

Lakshmi’s cousin sister was also there, she was her father’s brother’s daughter and about the same age as her. After the pleasantries and some tea and snacks, Arun and Lakshmi were left alone together for the ritual of talking to each other in private. This practice always dumbfounds me, how the hell are we supposed to say if we are ready to spend a lifetime with a person after just 10-15 minutes of private conversation with them. Anyways, after Arun and Lakshmi left, I was sitting there in the company of a lot of adults. Lakhsmi’s uncle was talking to me and asking me a lot of probing questions about myself and what I planned to do in life and all. Out of the blue he asked me if like them I am a Nair (A caste among Hindus in Kerala). Putting together the fact that he had a daughter of marrying age and the probing questions he asked I knew what he meant with that question. He was coming to me with a marriage proposal for his daughter. With a smile on my face and having already formulated a polite reply for rejecting the proposal I said yes, I am a Nair too. Before he could ask any more questions I got a call on my phone. I excused myself and stepped outside to take the call. I took my sweet time on the call as I didn't want to go back and answer the question that I was sure that was going to come.

I finished the call and turned around only to see the uncle standing right behind me. I was startled and then he asked me if he can ask me a question. I already knew what the question would be and mentally preparing myself to say the answer I said yes. He asked me “How would you like to marry Lakshmi? Me and her parents had a talk among ourselves and decided that you would be a much better match for Lakshmi than Arun.” I was left speechless for some time. I wanted to roundhouse kick him where it mattered for bring a proposition to me for a girl whom I had come to see for my friend. But I was too much in shock to say or do anything. As I was preparing an answer for this question which felt like a trick question that had come in the exam for which I had prepared something else he continued saying that Lakshmi is coming here now to talk to you in private, you people talk and then tell me a decision. We are bringing her from the other side so that Arun or his parents don’t see this. Before I could say anything Lakshmi came there. The situation reminded me of the placement week in an MBA college where you are sent to the interviews of different companies who have come to the campus on the same time without them not seeing each other.

The uncle left two of us alone and after adjusting myself to the situation my first question to Lakshmi was that why did you agree to all this? She said she is just doing what her relatives told her to do and went on speaking like this was a normal situation. She started talking about herself in what looked like a well prepared answer like the sort MBA students prepare for the “tell me about yourself” question in interviews. When she stopped talking, out of habit I almost asked her ‘Why MBA?” I stopped myself in time and then she went on to describe how she selected the dress she was wearing right then. Getting really tired of this I said “I am Rahul Menon’s batchmate” (Rahul Menon is her ex and my friend). That stopped her, she took a moment to regain her composure and said “yeah, we were together and we broke up. Do you have a problem with that?” Before I answered this I was luckily saved by her mother’s arrival who announced that lunch is ready. She asked me to come in and Lakshmi to come in through the back door. I made a mental note to pass on their contact on to my college’s placement team. They could maybe take a couple of pointers from these people on how to operate during the placement week.

I went back in. Everyone was already seated on the dining table. The uncle asked me loudly “Oh, that was a long phone call, huh?” and then winked at me. I tried really hard to act normal but I was not very successful. I am sure Arun noticed this and he gave me a dude, what happened to you look. Laskhmi entered at this time. Arun’s parents were beckoning for her to sit next to him but her family made her sit next to me. After a very awkward lunch (Sambar was awesome, rasam was not good) I rushed Arun and his family to leave saying that I had to be somewhere. They said their goodbyes. Lakshmi’s family said they will call them. I was fighting really hard to control my laughter on the analogy of this statement to what an HR person says to a rejected candidate after an interview. As we were about to leave the uncle caught me again and said that he will call my parents to talk about this further. I didn't say anything as I knew I hadn't given them any phone numbers and I knew that the matter would end there. That is when I remembered that I told them that my mom worked in BSNL and I gave them her name and designation. Then uncle had told me that he had a neighbor who also worked in the same department and will ask him about her. I cursed myself for telling him that and got in the car.

In the car Arun and his parents were very happy. The aunty was saying that she liked the girl very much and that she thinks that the girl’s side likes Arun also because they said to her that he is a very good boy especially in the area of having good friends and keeping a good company. She added that she was so glad that I come along and if the marriage gets fixed it is because of me. At this moment I was seriously contemplating suicide by jumping out of the moving car. Finally they dropped me at my home thanking me profoundly all the way.

After I reached home I told my mother the entire story. She almost fell down the chair laughing. I asked her to expect a call from the girl’s folks and she said she will take care of it.

I thought that was the end of it until Arun calls me couple of days later and tells me in a very sad voice that their family approached Lakshmi’s family and they rejected him and didn't tell the reason why. Apparently his parents are very upset and he was wondering if I could talk to the girl’s family because they thought very highly of me. This was getting really out of hand and I decided to put an end to it once and for all. I told him that I had been inquiring more about the girl and I found out that she had a really serious relationship with a batch mate from my college. I even send him a photo I had with me of me and some of my college friends taken in my friend’s room which had the aforementioned picture of him and the girl in the background. This pacified him and he said that then them rejecting him was for the best and that he didn't want to be married to such a girl. He thanked me again for all that I had done for him. I ended the call saying what are friends for. His parents called me an hour later to thank me again for all that I had done and for saving my friend from being married to an “immoral” girl. Aunty went on to add that she wished I was in Kerala for longer so that I could accompany them on all the “girl-seeing” trips. I left for Delhi the next day vowing never to come back to Kerala again.

P.S: I know this is a much longer and very different from the “own goals” I usually write. I just wanted to try my hand at writing a story. I was reading a post about funny incidents that happened during arranged marriages on Quora and this idea struck me. Don’t worry, a totally own-goally post is in the process of being written and will come up shortly.